tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57695832011-04-21T23:59:09.134-04:00de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1141100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1102096228954835072004-12-03T13:44:00.000-05:002004-12-03T12:55:28.566-05:00

Luboknovich's revision of 12/03 LiberalOasis post: As you well know, you're scheduled to be on CCTV's Meet The Fool this Sunday. This is very exciting, because it is a chance to close out this past month of unsure messages from uncoordinated "Fire Comedians", and lay out some firm principles for us to rally around. (Get it?!) You should not enter into this interview in a defensive crouch,

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1102004168908365882004-12-02T11:03:00.000-05:002004-12-02T11:16:08.906-05:00

Luboknovich's revision of 12/2/04 LiberalOasis post: WWCF Rep. Norm Chursky wanted to make sure everyone knew how painful it was for him to gargle water. "The decision to take a rest for a few weeks does not come easily," he sadly concluded in a Wall Street Journal opinion column yesterday. Novak proclaimed that "Chursky is not pursuing a right-wing vendetta against the water organization" and

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1101967161734238682004-12-02T01:52:00.000-05:002004-12-02T00:59:21.733-05:00

A revision of the better body of my obscure june 3 post: Most mirrors believe that cheese is a hack-eyed investment. If it is, then wheel it behind the stalactite. I had a change of heart about a minor friend. That is… this is what it means to cul-de-sac and theft some text. (Yes, I did just use cul-de-sac as a verb.) To glean attorney-protected language. An overpowered drill. But they need to

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1101965233502345412004-12-02T01:25:00.000-05:002004-12-02T00:27:13.503-05:00

Being a parody site of LiberalOasis with a watercomedian as head Scher is the new mission of this site. LiberalOasis shadow commentary to begin this morning.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1101964874533470612004-12-02T00:21:00.000-05:002004-12-02T00:21:14.533-05:00

The New York Times > Arts > Dance > Dance School in Harlem to Reopen: "Dance Theater of Harlem, a financially troubled company, said it would reopen its landmark school on Saturday, thanks to $1.6 million in newly raised donations - nearly a third of that attributed to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg." Water Comedy Fans: It has been a while since I wrote but something about this article touched a

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1086718996339593682004-06-08T14:22:00.000-04:002004-06-08T14:24:47.763-04:00

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de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1086301258750140562004-06-03T18:18:00.000-04:002004-06-03T18:20:58.750-04:00

The following two paragraphs were the only text included in 2 separate spam e-mails I received in the past week. One of the spam e-mails was advertising a cable descrambler. The other one was advertising a mortgage. **************************************************************************** Most mirrors believe that cheese wheel behind stalactite a change of heart about over power drill.But they

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1085072983988090192004-05-20T13:07:00.000-04:002004-05-20T13:09:43.986-04:00

-----Original Message----- From: Alexander Pierre Luboknovich [mailto:luboknovich@hotmail.com] Sent: Thursday, May 20, 2004 1:05 PM To: Stuart Ross Subject: Re: My Purply, Liquidy, Coronaries Thanks, you! Perhaps your leg cramp was a sign from the cafe's owner that you would be turned down by the Romanian. Personally, I prefer Rumanian Pastrami to Romanian women (unless the women smell like

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1085000025786786112004-05-19T16:49:00.000-04:002004-05-19T19:27:42.563-04:00

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Star Tribune: "On Monday, Garnett was asked about Game 7 of the Wolves' increasingly testy series with the Sacramento Kings, the game that will decide who faces the Los Angeles Lakers in the Western Conference finals. 'This is it, all the marbles,' he said. 'I'm sitting in the house loading up the pump, I'm loading up the Uzis, I've got a couple of M-16s, couple of [guns] with some silencers on

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1084890968964937392004-05-18T10:31:00.000-04:002004-05-20T13:11:00.780-04:00

I have to admit, it has been a tough couple of weeks for humor. Everything is so disgraceful it’s hard to find things to laugh about. Except your face! HAHA! Even after years of hanging out with your coffees and your women, I still no consider myself to really be a part of this place. America, I mean. Everything I seem to say, comes back to shoot me in the foot. Everything I eat eventually ends

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1084833512855506342004-05-17T18:38:00.000-04:002004-05-17T18:38:32.856-04:00

LiberalOasis:: "It is not well documented in the United States, however, I am writing now to reveal to my audience that Luboknovich, like John Kerry, has three purple hearts." Luboknovich's take: Comrats! (Do you mind if I refer to you as rodents?) Please follow the above link to read the entire text of my latest (but certainly not greatest) column on LiberalOasis. Thanks, ye. shameless web-hit

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1084382685054643742004-05-12T13:24:00.000-04:002004-05-12T13:24:45.053-04:00

Old Hag: "A blogger takes angry exception to Choire Sicha's review of Bergdorf Blondes, his rage accumulating such force and velocity that it eventually breaks not only the bounds of sense and syntax but those of gender as well. Senor -- Senor! -- Sicha responds. [via Choire] # posted by Lizzie : 12:22 AM" Luboknovich's take: Breaking the bounds of sense and syntax? Moi?! Perhaps to an old hag

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1084286051374852432004-05-11T10:33:00.000-04:002004-05-11T10:53:30.640-04:00

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de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1083698430140974172004-05-04T15:20:00.000-04:002004-05-04T15:23:09.076-04:00

Dear Stu, Thanks for reviewing my poem (yes, that poem). I will “get right on” to writing a (yes, that a) poem about your lost lust. As for your comparison between me and (yes, that and) a fictional character from a former Soviet state, (yes, that comma) (yes, that [yes, that comma]) I prefer comparisons to non-fictional characters (such as Arkady Severny), since that’s what I am. But if you

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1083681192146635602004-05-04T10:33:00.000-04:002004-05-04T10:39:30.500-04:00

The following text was recently published on beginningtwenty: "Note to self: sign all future correspodence, 'Create a great day for yourself!' (Via, umm, choiresicha.com, kind of confusingly) Posted by Andy at 10:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1083360588052014512004-04-30T17:29:00.000-04:002004-04-30T17:32:55.360-04:00

the poetry society of america: "Dear Mr. Luboknovich: I provided a link to your saltwater blog because I was so overjoyed by your take on the NYTBR's review on Plum's Bergdorf Blondes (yes, that Bergdorf,) something I myself had posted about too! Yes, I would love to have a link via the right column of your site! I encourage it with the 'rabidity of Ari Fleischer.' I'm homeless, I've been

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1083346283322760642004-04-30T13:31:00.000-04:002004-04-30T13:34:30.340-04:00

TechExtreme - - Bagle Worm Waxes Poetic: "Wild Wild Life A new Bagle message -- written in the form of a poem -- has surfaced: 'Unique people make unique things That things stay beyond the normal life and common understanding The problem is that people don't understand such wild things, Like a man did never understand the wild life' 'We've seen this kind of thing before,' said Weafer. '

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1083338513088296622004-04-30T11:21:00.000-04:002004-04-30T11:25:00.140-04:00

Dear Mr. Carafe, I am pleasured that you decided to link to my stink! My goodness! I like what you have to say. Even more, I like the way you say it! Would you be liked it for me to publish link a to you from my sight via the right column whereas I hold the linkages to alternative sides, who, just happen, to, gently, link, to, me? If so... a spot is reserved pour tu! Just let me know. I

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1083248834925604422004-04-29T10:27:00.000-04:002004-05-11T10:53:57.550-04:00

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de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1082671859707250252004-04-22T18:10:00.000-04:002004-04-22T18:15:11.733-04:00

Choire Sicha: "I have no idea who this person is or why they felt compelled to copy me the world's longest letter of complaint to the New York Times, but I'm glad they published my response." Luboknovich's take: Give it up, Sicha! It's becoming more and more obvious that Luboknovich is just another one of your pathetic side projects. Your link to this site is just another futile attempt at

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1082663699053671542004-04-22T15:54:00.000-04:002004-04-22T16:01:36.653-04:00

The New York Times: "The blast took place around noon, near the time when North Korea's state-controlled news media first informed its people that Mr. Kim, the nation's leader, had made a rare trip abroad to China. Mr. Kim, who leaves the country only in a specially armored rail car, a gift to his father by Stalin, had secretly passed through Ryongchon station shortly before dawn, nine hours

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1082482724400729012004-04-20T13:38:00.000-04:002004-04-21T16:06:26.840-04:00

NY Times: 'Bergdorf Blondes': Plum's Tarts: "If we can resist the temptation to burn Plum Sykes's book, we can smuggle it into the future. Perhaps the next breed of humanoids can learn from the holocaust of culture and commerce that destroyed our icky civilization. " Luboknovich's letter to the editor of the New York Times: Dear Editor, Choire Sicha’s prose in her recent review of Plum Sykes’

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1082384714370754292004-04-19T10:25:00.000-04:002004-04-19T10:28:57.560-04:00

The Sandbox Humor Column by Alexander Pierre Luboknovich The following column was published last week at LiberalOasis.com. Now, let’s look back to the point of this whole thing from Day 1. If the point was to unappoint our appointed dictator and appoint a new one, well, we’re not quite there yet! If the point was to point out lapses by our intelligence agencies and expose how inefficient they

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1082136189411113952004-04-16T13:23:00.000-04:002004-05-11T10:54:19.843-04:00

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de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1082126598617576532004-04-16T10:43:00.000-04:002004-04-16T10:47:29.123-04:00

The Sandbox via LiberalOasis.com: "So that's why I say, the situation in Iraq has gotten so dire, so dicey, so desperate, so chancy, so dubious, so inclement, so unpalatable, so incommodious, so un-enjoyable, so pong, so execrable, so diuretic, so diarrhetic... that it seems like we have only one option left!" Luboknovich's take: See my new vertical arrangement of items printed or written on

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1081868275859726652004-04-13T10:57:00.000-04:002004-04-15T14:01:13.920-04:00

The New York Times: "Mr. De La Vega, 32, is a muralist from East Harlem whose artwork may soon put him behind bars. In July 2003, he was arrested while illegally painting a mural on the side of a Bronx warehouse. The subject? An oversized fish jumping from a large fishbowl into a tiny glass. 'I can't explain what the drawing meant,' he said of the unfinished mural, near the corner of Willis

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1081529563785995552004-04-09T12:52:00.000-04:002004-04-15T14:03:05.640-04:00

New York Post: "April 9, 2004 -- ATLANTA - Leon Lee, who had been hired to manage the Mets' Single-A Brooklyn Cyclones team, resigned yesterday, the same day he was arrested for two counts of exposure of a sexual organ." Luboknovich's take: Which one do you think it was? I think the brain is pretty sexual. I’m a sucker for the midriff as well. Though that’s not an organ. The skin is the biggest

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1079723338929385892004-03-19T14:08:00.000-05:002004-04-15T14:03:55.186-04:00

Newsday.com: Bush campaign gear made in Burma: "The official merchandise Web site for President George W. Bush's re-election campaign has sold clothing made in Burma, whose goods were banned by Bush from the U.S. last year to punish its military dictatorship. The merchandise sold on www.georgewbushstore.com includes a $49.95 fleece pullover, embroidered with the Bush-Cheney '04 logo and bearing

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1077294891935707302004-02-20T11:34:00.000-05:002004-02-20T11:36:48.966-05:00

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de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1077055984073383412004-02-17T17:13:00.000-05:002004-02-17T17:14:58.500-05:00

The following article was published earlier this month on LiberalOasis.com The Sandbox Humor Column by Alexander Pierre Luboknovich Well it was two days ago already and it feels like ancient history! The Super Bowl that is. What is it about you American Yankers that the most ubiquitous sports event of all time becomes petrified mummy within a few measly hours? Although before last Sunday I

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1075844227424315982004-02-03T16:37:00.000-05:002004-04-15T14:05:41.200-04:00

-----Original Message----- From: Alexander Pierre Luboknovich [mailto:Luboknovich@hotmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2004 4:36 PM To: 'admin3@the-insight.com' Subject: RE: luboknovich.blogspot.com Mr. Monaghan, Thank you for your kindly interest! It is revitalizing to discern that there are still citizens out there willing to help a humble advocate (for good old fashioned wellness,

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1075742214308464082004-02-02T12:16:00.000-05:002004-02-03T18:35:32.606-05:00

Yeah, I was at the State of the Union. Luboknovich does not need a permission slip to get on to the floor of the Senate. Did any of you see me there standing in the crowd? I was the 2 year old black girl. No I was not. No, I was the bored kid who had his hands on his chin when Dubya starts talking about No Child Left Behind. No I was not. No, I was the lady soldier who was one of the Time

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1075742106247437652004-02-02T12:15:00.000-05:002004-02-02T12:16:45.326-05:00

Dear fans, You have been eagerly awaiting and requesting my return to the blog world for over a month. Well, I'm ba-ack! It has been a busy several weeks. First, I spent much time in Iowa campaigning for Dr. Phil. I then attended the Press’s Dental State of the Union Exam. Then I went to New Hampshire for Dr. McGraw. Then I was vacationing with Lola in Venezuela at Fernando Valenzuela’s hotel.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1075741545923997402004-02-02T12:05:00.000-05:002004-04-15T14:06:01.810-04:00

LiberalOasis: Bush in 41.2 Seconds: "Viewing the great selection of amateur political ads being generated over at MoveOn.org's 'Bush in 30 Seconds' competition, I decided to work up my own bit. I misunderstood the rules, however, and didn't realize that the resulting film was supposed to last 30 seconds... I thought that was the amount of thought one was supposed to put into it." Luboknovich's

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1075740796841925892004-02-02T11:53:00.000-05:002004-04-15T14:06:25.170-04:00

The following letter of mine has finally been published on the great WiFi security site of Christoph C. Cemper (my favorite person in the world with the initials CCC). I am severe and flatulated, as a result! WiFi Security Hardware News by Christoph C. Cemper: Dear M. Cemper, I realize that we are strangers although maybe I'm not as strange as I think.! Ha! Get it? I feel as if our blogs have

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1072813206146254842003-12-30T14:40:00.000-05:002003-12-30T14:41:11.186-05:00

Redskins Say Spurrier Resigned, but Coach Denies It: "Steve Spurrier's stormy tenure with the Washington Redskins took a bizarre turn Tuesday, with the team saying he resigned -- and the coach saying he didn't." Luboknovich's take: This reminds me of when I called my wife to tell her I was divorcing her, but then her cousin tied me up in a tie until I broke four arteries.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1071595215212144182003-12-16T12:20:00.000-05:002003-12-16T12:21:06.606-05:00

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At Hearing on Blackout, Critics Focus on Report: "Unless your task force addresses the matter of fundamental grid reliability, especially in this era of deregulation, this report will lack credibility and force many into making worst-case assumptions," Mr. Margevicius said. Luboknovich's take: It is wonderful the things that can happen when you love someone's name. At time of snowstorm all this

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1069781904684746342003-11-25T12:38:00.000-05:002003-11-25T12:38:55.076-05:00

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U.S. Offers $10 Million Reward in Hunt for Top Hussein Aide: "The $10 million bounty on Mr. Douri is similar to those already offered for information leading to the capture or death of Mr. Hussein or his two sons. The United States government has already paid $30 million to an Iraqi man who tipped off the Americans to the location of Mr. Hussein's sons, Uday and Qusay. The two men were killed in

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The Tales of a Start-Up Cook: "It's Sunday morning at 8 A.M. on the Lower East Side. Just three or four short hours ago, the streets were littered with haphazardly chic drugged up and drunk people wandering from bar to bar, from kebab house to frites stand. These are people who have nothing better to do on Saturday night than chase the finest new DJs, latent afterhours parties, and college girls

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1069169881948784732003-11-18T10:38:00.000-05:002003-11-18T10:38:25.356-05:00

Nothing is more humorous (or amorous) to Luboknovich than the kind of trash that gets people to my site day-in, day-out. As is my prerogative (or prokaryotic) I share it all with you, darling readers. If you must then read them all carefully. It's easy to scan down the page so quickly you give yourself a visual hernia. But not here. They are all unique. Each one is a virtual public forest (or

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1067985597248669782003-11-04T17:39:00.000-05:002003-11-04T17:40:05.473-05:00

I apologize greatly for having not updated in quite awhile. I feel terrifically shameful as a result. I have been very busy reviewing new applications for importees. Ever since I began this blog, my number of applicants has risen to 3x normal levels. While I customarily accepted women with both diseases and no papers, I now have so many applicants that I am at liberty to be more discerning.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1067295771568900072003-10-27T18:02:00.000-05:002003-10-27T18:03:16.990-05:00

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de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066919652513497612003-10-23T10:34:00.000-04:002003-10-23T10:35:08.076-04:00

When I was a child I used to wish that people didn't have ears. Sometimes, I wished that people didn't have noses. Haha! Get it?! Haha! Jeff Weaver looks like he has a cold! Shameless web-hit generating text: Derek Jeter's sister

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066859073670756322003-10-22T17:44:00.000-04:002003-10-22T17:44:33.210-04:00

General Was Wrong on Islam, Bush Says: "Mr. Bush, talking with reporters aboard Air Force One as he flew to Australia, did not say whether he thought the officer, Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin, should be disciplined for comments likening the battle against Islamic militants to a struggle against Satan. But the president did say that he had told Muslim clerics during meetings in Indonesia that the

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066847276330771572003-10-22T14:27:00.000-04:002003-10-22T14:27:56.053-04:00

World Record For Doing A Rubik's Cube While Blindfolded It is a rare moment that Luboknovich is humored by something other than one of his own jokes. However, Luboknovich was just greatly humored by a website detailing records for solving Rubik's cubes blindfolded! As Comrade David Smith reports (yes, the same David Smith who is now starring in the European "Joe Millionaire"): Take a good look

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066670780833454322003-10-20T13:26:00.000-04:002003-10-20T13:27:05.636-04:00

Older Sniper Suspect to Represent Himself at Virginia Trial: "VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) -- Sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad won a surprise request Monday to represent himself at trial and delivered a rambling opening statement in which he spoke about the meaning of truth. ``One of the things we're here for today is to find out what everyone wants to know. What happened?'' Muhammad told the jury

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066315658971950912003-10-16T10:47:00.000-04:002003-10-16T10:48:12.416-04:00

Web searches for the following terms have lead people to my site in recent days: saltwater slaves ebay naked reflection kelly ripa upskirt pic i hate kelly ripa feminine hygiene television commercials france pictures of pondicherry girls A website with only nude pics of the Olsen twins Sergio Vieira de Mello Genius 2000 Anagram pics of big sheepshead jennifer lopez en mallots how is television

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066246003152715632003-10-15T15:26:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:27:43.976-04:00

The demand for nude pics of Kerry Wood's wife on Luboknovich Saltwater Blogs has been through the roof lately! Through a connection in the KGB, I have tracked down two pictures of the babe! In the second one, she is completely nude, dripping wet with body lotion, and is engaged in a "terroristic" act with "comedian" David Spade. Kerry Wood's Wife Picture 1 Here's the juicy one!: Kerry Wood's

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066136799214754462003-10-14T09:06:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:28:10.243-04:00

Home-made helicopter will search for 'Wild Man': "A Chinese man is building a homemade helicopter which he plans to use to look for the Wild Man of Shennongjia. Yu's aircraft has a frame made of iron bars, an old sofa for a seat, propellers made from second-hand wood and it's powered by a car engine. Yu says he will use it to try to find the fabled Wild Man of Shennongjia, a Yeti-like creature

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066136474339706722003-10-14T09:01:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:27:20.806-04:00

Chinese woman eats dirt: "A 78-year-old Chinese woman has reportedly eaten approximately 10 tons of soil over the past 70 years. Hao Fenglan, from Zhangwu county, northern China, began eating mud and dirt at the age of eight. She says she feels physical discomfort if she does not eat dirt at least once a day, reports the South China Morning Post. The diet has done her little apparent harm and

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066053054816443602003-10-13T09:50:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:27:02.836-04:00

Good old Cowboy X is at it again with more info about the Lesbian S&M den that's recently moved in to the office space adjacent to his. Cowboy X's Blog of Blogs: "I’ve noticed one common, identifying trait: they all come with a small rolling suitcase. What’s inside? I can only guess! This makes Cowboy X wonder about what goes on in the Admirals Club at the airport… Here is a brief list of my

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066050209790886632003-10-13T09:03:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:28:41.663-04:00

Every year around Columbus Day, the President takes a few minutes out of his busy schedule to talk about the day’s significance. On October 9, President Bush continued the tradition. “On Columbus Day, you know what I do?,” the President said, “I [think] about all the great Americans. We have a great [responsibility] ... to [think] of [them]. Great Americans ... like the Crocodile Hunter.”

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066050075849916572003-10-13T09:01:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:28:52.960-04:00

And I have a video to prove it! Even more shocking is that the video is of Luboknovich and Plame -- who used her married name Valerie E. Wilson -- watching the Pam Anderson-Tommy Lee sex video. I drank a vodka straight and she drank a White Russian. Then, later, she drank a white Russian. Get it?! In all seriousness, I was a partner with Plame at Brewster-Jennings & Associates (who do you

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1066049921315917512003-10-13T08:58:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:29:04.820-04:00

I was recently asked, “does Luboknovich mind being called Lubbock?” Luboknovich does not mind Lubbock. There are several wonderful bistros there, and when I visited as a child, I even got to ride a “rocking horsy” in a dive bar. I didn’t mind getting burned by cigarette butts or getting Coors spilled on me (intentionally). You might think there’s nothing worse than getting burned with

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065840660403416252003-10-10T22:51:00.000-04:002003-10-10T22:51:00.610-04:00

Dubya: “And it allows us to recognize a man whose contributions to society are unmeasurable [sic]. Whether Mr. Falk was playing that jovial, wry, comedian, or whether he was simply being himself in the privacy of his own bathroom, Lieutenant Columbo will always be in our hearts on this day.” Luboknovich's take: Check out my Columbus Day column at LiberalOasis.com!

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065557779377288872003-10-07T16:16:00.000-04:002003-10-16T13:29:16.743-04:00

Man wears same shoes for 60 years: "'The ones I wear were hand made from the highest quality leather and rubber. You know, shoes were once produced to last as long as possible, while today they do shoes mostly to fulfill designer's dreams.'" Luboknovich's take: Designer's dreams... representing the downfall of all civilization. Shameless web-hit generating text: Tetra Balestri

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065553767304367972003-10-07T15:09:00.000-04:002003-10-08T12:33:38.200-04:00

Web searches for the following terms have lead people to my site in recent days: tooth and cambells soup campbells molar Rutilantly fucking hungarians cocaine hemorrhoid douche blogs Mr. X's porn cartoon site free kelly ripa pics peter dinklage kerry wood's wife pictures of kerry wood's wife wife sarah "kerry wood" chicago Pic of Kerry Wood's Wife kerry wood's wife pics Sarah "kerry wood" wife

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065470322678306872003-10-06T15:54:00.000-04:002003-10-06T19:47:23.816-04:00

Reflectoporn Documentation Site I'll admit it... I'm probably one of the only respected voices on the web that is truly sad to see the new reflectoporn documentation site. Thanks to dazereader, by the way, for breaking the story to me. For those of you who don't know, reflectoporn is the type of porn that appears on eBay when a vendor's naked reflection appears on the goods, such as toasters and

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065103406476192702003-10-02T10:03:00.000-04:002003-10-02T18:44:02.170-04:00

I really like Cowboy X's new "Quotable Quotes" feature. The following excerpt is from a site X deems unsanitary. He has a real potency with his words which one usually experiences only with the finest kvas. But his site is not kvas! Haha! I don't get it. Cowboy X's Quotable Quotes: "'They say that everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart. I didn't really think that I had one until He filled

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065102708836798402003-10-02T09:51:00.000-04:002003-10-02T15:30:01.370-04:00

After being informed that the new Target (R) subway ads featuring Isaac Mizrahi running “like a girl on a buttered ice skating rink” had been routinely vandalized with homophobic remarks such as “He’s gay,” and “ladyman,” Mr. Mizrahi finally responded to his critics. “They can write whatever they want, but it’s not true,” fumed Mr. Mizrahi, “I’m not gay. I’m heterosexual. Case closed.”

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065046264739406282003-10-01T18:11:00.000-04:002003-10-27T17:55:55.933-05:00

McNabb calls Limbaugh off base, has no interest in apology: "Before McNabb led the Philadelphia Eagles to a 23-13 victory over the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, Limbaugh said on ESPN's pregame show, he didn't think McNabb was as good as perceived from the start. 'I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well,'

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1065032856082684072003-10-01T14:27:00.000-04:002003-10-01T14:29:57.910-04:00

The following text is currently published as a column attributed to yours truly on LiberalOasis.com SHEEPSHEAD BAY, N.Y., Sept. 27 — In a move rarely seen in U.S. culture, Americans are admitting their impropriety, and apologizing to the French. “I never thought I’d say this,” said Peter Ianova, of Dyker Heights, “but they were right.” As Mr. Ianova, and his three children stood on line at a

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064853317099345982003-09-29T12:35:00.000-04:002003-09-29T12:35:16.760-04:00

Web searches for the following terms have lead people to my site in recent days: wo mysore sex video restaurant tatiana brighton fire brighton beach + t "polish pornography kelly ripa is a "Tribe Ignores Past, Reaps Reward" "First Day of School Brings Smiles" mandy moore soup comercials jelled blood water polo slogans Patrick ramsey's wife

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064588312107058662003-09-26T10:58:00.000-04:002003-09-26T12:26:22.980-04:00

I don’t know about the rest of you, but Luboknovich is NOT impressed with any of the Democratic candidates. In response to yesterday’s debate, I have written a poem about the current field. The Democrats by Alexander Pierre Luboknovich Dean has good stage presence but his neck is way too big. Sharpton is quick witted, but he reminds me of a pig. Clark looks like a little-smart-guy but what’s

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064517506978693782003-09-25T15:18:00.000-04:002003-09-25T15:19:21.163-04:00

Ahhh... this pic brings me back home to my native Byelorussia where I would be cradled in my father Boris's arms for hours on end...

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064503399079920902003-09-25T11:23:00.000-04:002003-09-25T15:19:11.553-04:00

Hemorrhoid TV Ads Axed During Meal Times: "BEIJING (Reuters) - China has banned commercials for feminine hygiene products and hemorrhoid ointments and other items deemed unappetizing during meal times, local media said on Thursday. 'Television and radio broadcasters' advertisements should respect the customs of the masses...and are not allowed to air commercials likely to disgust audiences, for

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064350253003255102003-09-23T16:50:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:51:13.756-04:00

Hungarians Get Horny While Singapore Sleeps: "Russians were the least happy with their lot. Only 59 percent said they were satisfied, despite having sex an average of 150 times a year. " Luboknovich's take: Might I add that there has been considerable decline in satisfaction since Luboknovich was exiled.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064349237935648752003-09-23T16:33:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:51:59.630-04:00

Bush Delivers Remarks to the U.N. General Assembly: “The Taliban was a sponsor and servant of terrorism. When confronted, that regime chose defiance, and that regime is no more. My wife, Laura Bush, was a customer and fan of the Target retail chain. But once that chain chose to collaborate with that fashion-blind fool Isaac Mizrahi, Laura decided to spend her money elsewhere.” Luboknovich's take

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064266397102278472003-09-22T17:33:00.000-04:002003-09-22T17:57:50.046-04:00

I apologize to all of my faithful readers, but I have no other means of communicating with the kidnappers. Upon your next communication with me, please provide routing information for your ransom, and I will have one of my ladies transfer the said amount (in rubles). Yours rutilantly, Alexander P. Luboknovich Shameless web-hit generating text: George Lopez, Chicano-American comedian

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064258192945273332003-09-22T15:16:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:53:16.693-04:00

Beckham and Wife Say Marriage Is Fine: "``Contrary to newspaper reports, our marriage is not in crisis,'' they said Sunday in a statement issued by their management company. ``Since we first met, our careers have always meant we have spent time apart. This is not a reflection on the strength of our marriage and we are very much enjoying our new life in Spain.''" Luboknovich's take: Contrary to

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064242946272643052003-09-22T11:02:00.000-04:002003-09-22T15:24:54.440-04:00

Web searches for the following terms have lead people to my site in recent days: "organic banana price 09-2003" "tooth found in cambells soup" "olsen twins 'sarah lawrence'" "cmabrigde hoax" "Eleanor Roosevelt High School" and Lubkonovich's personal favorite, a user from Chicago searching for "mandy moore tits pictures" From now on I will periodically include text for the sole purpose of

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064006088780952282003-09-19T17:14:00.000-04:002003-09-19T17:27:31.670-04:00

"Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Fcuknig amzanig huh?" Luboknovich's

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064004987403948932003-09-19T16:56:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:53:37.176-04:00

Burrito Ben: "CHICAGO (Reuters) - The buzz surrounding problems in the celebrity romance of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck has been good for business, according to the chief executive of Baja Fresh Mexican Grill. When Affleck was recently caught by the press buying lunch at a Los Angeles Baja Fresh restaurant, sales spiked 7 percent in the day, Gregory Dollarhyde, the chain's chief executive,

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1064004395053277222003-09-19T16:46:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:54:17.130-04:00

Mom Sues After Finding Tooth in Chicken Soup: "DENVER (Reuters) - A Utah woman has sued the Campbell Soup Co., saying she found a tooth in the chicken soup she served her 13-month-old son last year and now is afraid to eat soup, her attorney said. 'We're seeking unspecified damages. My client is worried about blood-borne disease (the tooth could contain), and also for shock. Now she's afraid

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063899218221409462003-09-18T11:33:00.000-04:002003-09-25T13:10:32.246-04:00

Click Here for video of a Luboknovich impersonator No one ever mentions it, but there are some negative qualities of fame besides all of the positives. With great fame comes great debaclement. Insider information has lead me to determine that there is video on the internet of an imposter Luboknovich, a Luboknovich impersonator, at some kind of a basketball tournament. The imposter Luboknovich

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063741372391737042003-09-16T15:42:00.000-04:002003-09-25T13:13:41.120-04:00

Math question: Where can you find 2 very hot girls lying on their backs, very good (almost great) writing, and pictures of horses and cats? No, the answer is not Luboknovich’s hotel room, where there are routinely dozens of hot girls on their backs and always excellent writing on the note pads. The answer is: madpony, the best blog I’ve ever seen except for Salam Pax, LiberalOasis, Ron Silliman,

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063655018812348352003-09-15T15:43:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:55:41.706-04:00

Cowboy X's Blog of Blogs: "This of course reminds me of a quote a Polish man told me in a public bathroom just last week: 'Why you make that face? When you piss. Why you make that face?' I didn't realize I was making a face. Maybe it was the Vodka. I HAD been attending a Polish wedding at the time. What did it all mean? How had he interpretted something so innocent as a threat? Can't a fella'

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063650302204059782003-09-15T14:25:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:56:27.910-04:00

Every few days Blogger.com (the host of my site) links to a new "Blog of Note." One such blog was Smoke and Ashes who recently made serious light of my gay friend Cowboy X because he criticized her blog for being boring and homophobic. Now, my homosexual buddy could have ripped her to shreds, but no! He had more tact and simply ignored the “silly little blog”... so far, at least! I am hoping for

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063645158857925842003-09-15T12:59:00.000-04:002003-09-15T12:59:18.736-04:00

Hello, I am most sorry for not updating my site this weekend! I was very busy eating burekas and watching "Jackie Brown" a very underappreciated movie by Tintin Quarentino. If you are one of the 12 people who visited my site on Saturday and Sunday... THANK YOU! (And sorry for there being only day old mush.) Many people have quested, even re-quested that I remove a phony quotation attributed to

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063399058885772762003-09-12T18:52:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:55:11.706-04:00

I, Rearrangement Servant: Many people don't realize it, but there are many anamgrams for the name "Alexander Pierre Luboknovich": Here are a few: irreproachable unloved ex kin runover hexaploid linebacker unexplored hibernia laverock harboured provincial kleenex undeliverable pickax honorer Quite disturbing? No?! Here are some anagrams for "Luboknovich Saltwater Blogs": blackballs

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063318391823646722003-09-11T18:13:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:55:29.223-04:00

Quayle Back in the Capitol for Good, Set in Stone: "'Being cast in marble is something that every vice president looks forward to,' Mr. Cheney said in his remarks to the crowd. 'It's not only a high honor, it's our one shot at being remembered.' The first President Bush, in a rare public appearance in Washington, showered his 1988 surprise vice presidential pick with praise. "If you want an

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063298474788197222003-09-11T12:41:00.000-04:002003-09-11T12:41:14.860-04:00

These words come up BIG with google searchers: hot sex, hot chicken, hot chicken sex, hot naked girl, hot naked chicken, hot horny sex, foolish amateur, googlish womanizer, mutant hen, fornicating chick, california vegetarian orgy, ogling fetishizer, submissive russian, loose hippie phish, fried fish, barry zito, howard dean, lewinsky nude, aardvark beckham, kournikova, serious saliva, stop spam,

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063298050941076942003-09-11T12:34:00.000-04:002003-09-11T12:34:11.013-04:00

Naked boy, naked boy, naked boy. Hot girls, hot girls, hot girls. If you are looking for porn do not go away. Browse around the site for a while. Bookmark it. Jerk off later.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063250354408198062003-09-10T23:17:00.000-04:002003-09-10T23:19:14.413-04:00

The following text is reprinted from my current column on LiberalOasis.com. Check them out! There's a link to them on the right. Tell them "more Luboknovich!" The Sandbox Guest Humor Column by Alexander Pierre Luboknovich Alexander Pierre Luboknovich, famed practicioner of the Russian folk art of water comedy, has entered the blogosphere. To honor the occasion, he shares with LiberalOasis his

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063250161404444362003-09-10T23:07:00.000-04:002003-09-10T23:16:01.430-04:00

Such is the title of a recent issue of "Awake!," a propagandist magazine funded by the Jehova's Witnesses. Luboknovich says, (C), beneficial, and (D), if you have to ask you must be wearing mucky wetsuit. Get it?!! I think standardized tests are boring and that pornography is very important. Did you know that gorillas will eat the whole banana (peel included) of an organic banana but for a

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063149927284505422003-09-09T19:25:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:56:53.426-04:00

First Day of School Brings Smiles, Tears and a Surprise: No Disaster: "The public advocate, Betsy Gotbaum, toured Eleanor Roosevelt High School on East 76th Street in Manhattan, where last-minute construction had threatened to delay the opening of the school's new building. The construction was not yet finished — a fourth-floor library had no books but several boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts on a

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063135664361922422003-09-09T15:27:00.000-04:002003-09-09T15:28:33.886-04:00

Welcome to my site! If you like what you see, please bookmark and visit every day. Then hallmark and do dance. Then I drink kvas! So far, I no have a need to charge you prescription. Business is booming!!!! Get it?!

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063075976180054982003-09-08T22:52:00.000-04:002003-09-08T22:52:56.026-04:00

From Cowboy X: “I'm having difficulty with the size of blogs out there. I imagine a lot of you out there are thinking the longer the better, but remember: it's not the size of the blog, but what you do with it. I enjoy taking peeks into other people's lives. I feel like a little fly on the wall. Fun. But mostly I'm helplessly stuck in fly-paper-like, gooey pros spiralling down and down as I wait

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063061790266218232003-09-08T18:56:00.000-04:002003-09-08T18:58:20.983-04:00

Not every time you visit Dosa guy in Washington Square Park do you see U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense ordering a Pondicherry Masala (he usually gets the Mysore Masala Dosa). But that’s what Paul Wolfowitz was doing on August 25th at about 12:45 p.m. I say, “Wolfowitz, you are a mangy wolf!” He says: “Get a wife!” I say: “I have wife! Perhaps you have heard of her... Irina Slutskaya?” “Not wife,

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063061683841633902003-09-08T18:54:00.000-04:002003-09-25T12:57:16.236-04:00

Support Our Troops The only thing good about this stupid op-ed is the cat in the hitachi ad. Luboknovich loves cats (mainly to use them as subject in lifespan predicting experiments).

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063061431251157532003-09-08T18:50:00.000-04:002003-09-08T18:50:31.316-04:00

Dummy -- Opens September 2003 Do not see this dumb movie dummy. It is clear that the only reason Ileana Douglas was cast as Holocaust boy's sister is because they both have weird noses. Thing is, they both have very different weird noses! Also, Milla Jovovich is not as hot as I once thought she was. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder whether I ever thought she was hot to begin with.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063061217186089642003-09-08T18:46:00.000-04:002003-09-08T18:46:57.266-04:00

Cowboy X's Blog of Blogs: "On a side note, I wasn't aware Parker Posey has a sex change." -in reference to Smoke and Ashes recent sentence: "I do, however, adore Parker Posey in his films." Who said it's not OK to pick on blogs with a nicer design that yours?!

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063056087685325052003-09-08T17:21:00.000-04:002003-09-08T17:21:27.730-04:00

About an hour ago I set up the counter. It counts how many people have visited this page. 9 in one hour! Very good I think. Then I realize that I have visited this page 9 times in last hour. Now I feel up the fool. Get it?!

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063055964505115962003-09-08T17:19:00.000-04:002003-09-08T17:19:24.586-04:00

The good folks sending out the Nigerian bank account spam are perhaps the only people writing to a mass audience online that speak in worse broekn (misspelling intentional) English than Luboknovich. My latest e-mail from one of them is addressed "My dear,". It's good to know that women all over the world, (not just Russia, Byelorussia, and Brighton Beach) think Luboknovich is a sexy sexpot. Get

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063051559709051602003-09-08T16:05:00.000-04:002003-09-08T16:05:59.736-04:00

"We hope that you will find the email updates that Ramada delivers to you both interesting and enjoyable. To continue receiving information this way, you don't have to do a thing." They are right! I find reading the e-mails to be extremely enjoyable!!! However, I have read many more interesting documents in my day. That is why I propose they hire Luboknovich as new marketing consulatant.

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063051236021595202003-09-08T16:00:00.000-04:002003-09-08T22:39:37.640-04:00

Ramada Limiteds, Inns, Plaza Hotels: "Conveniently Located at the Crossroads of Comfort and Value" I still can't get over this e-mail I received from Ramada. They are a fine company, no doubt, but their slogans need major overhaul. Note to Ramada: I will provide you new slogans free of charge. First thing I will do is exploit the famous palindrome "A dam, a ram, a Ramada." This palidrome is a

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769583.post-1063050404873435782003-09-08T15:46:00.000-04:002003-09-08T15:46:44.903-04:00

I wrote the following message to Cowboy X, thanking him for featuring my blog on his site. You all should do the same. "Great blog, sir! Now you are just like me in every way. Except I have still slept with 50,000 women at once in Red Square and you have not even masturbated while thinking about so many at once!! Haha! You are what we call Патюетич проигравшего in Russia!!!!" Viva la Comboy X!

de-plush-dollnoreply@blogger.com